Am I a Type A or Type B Mom? A Surprising Realization
Recently, one of my new friends called me a Type B mom. I almost spit out my wine. Me? Type B? I’ve always thought of myself as the definition of Type A.
Here’s the setup: our new neighbors moved in right behind us. They have two boys — one just under three, and one who’s almost 11 months. We have two kids too: a son who’s a little older and a daughter who’s a little younger (going on three and eight months).
We went over to their house for what was supposed to be a quick happy hour. Since it’s just around the block, I figured we’d be home within the hour. But as often happens, chatting flowed, a couple glasses of wine were poured, and we ended up staying longer than I planned.
Of course, life with kids is never predictable. My daughter had a blowout, and instead of walking home for a change of clothes, I just asked if I could borrow a onesie from her — our babies are nearly the same size anyway.
That’s when the conversation turned to schedules. She asked about naps, dinner time, and bedtime. I told her honestly:
We don’t really have a set schedule. I follow the kids’ cues. Bedtime usually falls in the same window, but it’s not an 8 p.m. sharp ordeal. Dinner is usually around 6-ish, but it flexes depending on the day.
She looked at me and said:
“Oh my gosh, you’re so Type B. I love it. I’m so uptight and Type A — I have to stick to a schedule or I can’t function.”
I was taken aback. Because in my mind, I’ve always been Type A.
How I Started as a Type A Mom
When I just had my son, I was strict. I tracked every nap, every ounce, every schedule. I packed for every scenario, and if things didn’t go as planned, I stressed.
It was exhausting. And it wasn’t just me who felt it — my husband did too. My Type A parenting stress made him feel like he could do nothing right. I was always on edge, and because things weren’t done exactly how I wanted, I ended up taking on everything myself.
The truth is, I wasn’t even enjoying motherhood. I was fighting it — fighting naps, fighting feedings, fighting everything that didn’t go exactly according to plan.
That mindset started to shift when I began reading more about parenting and motherhood. One book that really opened my eyes was Being There: Why Prioritizing the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar. It helped me realize that my kids didn’t need the “perfectly organized mom” — they needed a present one. The moments I thought were “small” — sitting on the floor, talking to them, watching them explore — were actually the ones that mattered most.
Why I’ve Loosened Up
Somewhere between baby number one and baby number two, I changed. Partly experience, partly books like Let Them by Mel Robbins, and partly just realizing I can only control so much.
Mel’s book reminded me that I can’t control what others (or tiny humans) do — I can only control how I respond. When my toddler refuses dinner or my baby skips a nap, I try to pause and say, “Let them.” Let them feel, explore, and learn. That mindset alone has saved my sanity.
Another book that resonated was Let Them Be Kids by Jessica Smartt. It made me rethink what a “good mom” looks like. I started to understand that a perfect childhood isn’t one filled with perfect schedules — it’s one filled with space to be kids, to play, to get messy, to grow.
The more I stepped back and leaned into that kind of thinking, the better I felt. Letting go of that pressure helped me relax, be a happier mom, and actually enjoy myself more.
Learning to Connect Differently
As I shifted my mindset, I also read Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff — a book that completely reframed how I saw parenting. It shared how other cultures raise kids by involving them, not isolating them. Instead of trying to keep my kids busy while I do chores, I started inviting them in: “Want to help stir the sauce?” or “Let’s fold towels together.”
It’s slower, yes. Sometimes messier. But it’s also deeply connecting.
Now, if my kids are happy, healthy, and fed, that’s what matters. I lean into their rhythms. Instead of forcing a rigid routine, I let things ebb and flow — and the vibe of our home is calmer because of it.
The Balance I’ve Found
So maybe I’m not 100% Type A or 100% Type B. Maybe motherhood pulled me into the middle — structured where it matters, flexible when life demands it.
And honestly? That balance feels good.
My grandfather used to say:
“Everybody is different — and that’s what makes the world go around.”
I keep that in mind whenever I find myself comparing my motherhood journey to the “perfect” lives I see online. The truth is, we never really know what’s going on behind the scenes. Everyone has their own path, their own struggles, and their own way of figuring it out.
I know I’m lucky to have the support system and flexibility that allow me to be present with my kids most days — and I don’t take that for granted. But I’ve learned that presence isn’t about being home all the time; it’s about being tuned in when you are. Whether your days are spent in an office, at home, or somewhere in between, I think we all crave that same balance — the freedom to let go of perfection and the confidence to know we’re doing enough. Motherhood isn’t about controlling every moment; it’s about living inside them.
💬 Your turn: Do you see yourself as more of a Type A mom, Type B mom, or somewhere in between? I’d love to hear how you find your balance.
📚 Curated Reads That Shaped This Perspective
Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Doucleff — Lessons from other cultures on raising capable, calm, connected kids.
Let Them by Mel Robbins — A reminder to stop trying to control what’s out of your control.
Let Them Be Kids by Jessica Smartt — A heartfelt look at how freedom and imperfection make childhood magical.
Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters by Erica Komisar — Why being emotionally present matters more than being perfect.
💬 Your Turn: Do you see yourself as more of a Type A mom, Type B mom, or somewhere in between? Share in the comments — I’d love to hear how you balance structure and flexibility in your home.
Curated by JLS 
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